A recent comment from one of our readers:
“How do you deal with hair stylists who feel the need to comment negatively on your gray hair every single time they see you?”
Oh no they didn’t!!
“I have been to 5 different stylists in the past two years, and none of them seem to want to respect my decision not to dye my hair. I always dread going for a cut, and I leave feeling like I look horrible, fearing that everyone must be thinking the same thing, but these hair stylists are the only ones to say it. Does anyone else experience this and if so, how do you deal with it? These comments are taking a toll on my self-confidence. “
We got some great feedback from our community about how to gain respect from a hairstylist who is less than thrilled about you going gray. Thanks to all who you left great comments on our Facebook page and here on the website. Here are some of your suggestions (no edits, your words) 🙂
“I have encountered this reaction from my old stylist, who colored my hair for two years and didn’t like my decision to stop. My reaction has been to grow my hair for the last two years, but it’s at the point where I at least need to get the ends trimmed. I will look for someone new, with whom I can establish a fresh start. First thing I will say is, “I love my salt n’ pepper hair, and have no intention of coloring it. If this isn’t okay with you, let me know right now because I don’t need to dread your judgment with each scheduled haircut.” I have used the honest approach in establishing new relationships with other professionals, and it has never failed me.”
“There are times to project a powerful persona to garner respect, but if I need to do that to get a decent haircut, that’s so wrong! I get your point, but I would prefer finding someone who can show basic respect for the zaftig, fresh-scrubbed, and gray among us.”
“I’m through transitioning to “no coloring” in my life, and LOVE having mostly gray hair! During the growing out year, I decided to mainly ignore people who worked in the beauty biz regarding coloring, because I believe they are geared toward SELLING color. Let them have their say, pay no attention, and toss your glorious gray hair over your shoulder as you walk out.”
“Grey hair gives a huge message that you have loads of confidence in yourself and the fact that you (we) are aging, but not trying to hide it like the majority. Going grey is rebellious!! People don’t like it. The hairdresser is challenged and intimidated.”
“My stylist respects my decision as my own and is working with me to achieve my “grow out” with the dignity and pizazz that she has lent to me for years while I was coloring it. I know back in the day, she didn’t think anyone should have grey, but I think ideas of style are changing. I was apprehensive to tell her I was going natural, but she made me feel that if anyone can pull it off, it’s me! no matter the style or color we must do style business w those we vibe with who lend their skills to our vision for our bodies. I would move on till I found someone who gets it. will rock it out for you.”
“Find a new one! My longtime stylist dropped me after I went gray! It wasn’t worth her time for just the price of a cut without color. I asked a salon owner that I trust which stylist understood thick wavy hair best & took his recommendation. Absolutely LOVE my new cut & stylist! You are hiring THEM, so don’t put up with any nonsense! A good cut is key to managing the gray, so find someone both experienced AND pleasant to work with. Especially if you are a bit younger & don’t want to go ultra short. (I’m 50 & have a stacked, angled chin length bob – basically the same style I would have even if I weren’t gray.)”
“Not only did the following service help me find my new curly stylist, but it also has user-ratings, making me feel better about using a locator thingee: http://www.naturallycurly.com. When I called my stylist, I told her I found her via the locator from that site, and of course, I had read her reviews. But I also asked her if she had a problem with me transitioning to gray, meaning that I’ll have three colors — including the grays died brown, but fade to orange. No problem, so I made an appt. Her being a curl specialist, I knew she KNEW about shrinkage, so one less thing to explain, but I did let her know it was VERY important to me to have a ponytail, as it’s fairly hot where I live (last month’s highs: 107-109F). Plus I usually resort to ponies for days 3-5 (older curlies don’t need to wash everyday LOL). So I’m still tri-toned (Cold Turkey, no transitioning high/lo lights), but have a lot less hair that still goes into a ponytail. My hairdresser advised me on researching vitamins to increase hair growth so we can get rid of the dyed hair quicker. I love my new stylist, a curly expert that’s also very encouraging to transitionists like me.”
Thanks, ladies! Any more suggestions out there? Feel free to leave a comment!