Going Gray: Deborah Greene’s Transition to Her “New” Self

Tomorrow is the 3rd haircut in my transition to going “salt & pepper” and letting my “silver highlights” shine!

I have been fortunate—my transition, aided by my most amazing hairstylist & a good shaggy short cut, has been (thus far) a relatively graceful & pain-free one.

My daughters remarked on our walk last night, how much of my silver they could really see now, especially out in the natural light. It’s weird sometimes, I’ll admit it, to look in the mirror and see this new version of myself unfolding. And yet, I feel comfortable. The fine lines, the gray hair is me. Some think of “going gray” as letting yourself go. Far from it. I work out daily, am a health food devotee, meditate, and put great care into how I present myself (okay, perhaps not always in the comfort of my own home admittedly). But I am growing more accepting of the aging process, choosing to do it gracefully and live in harmony with it, rather than expend so much time and energy fighting it.

I have been told I’m “brave.”

I’m not…. I am simply making the choice that feels right for me.

I’ve gotten backhanded compliments: “I think it’s awesome. You’d never catch me doing it, but good for you, you’ll look great.” To which I think, Never say never, my friend, and please find a kinder way to show your support. It’s not easy to be the only one of my peers in my age group who is choosing to go gray at 45. And I do periodically turn to my husband and say, “Do you think I am going to look old?” To which he lovingly answers, “You are going to rock it” and calls me a “Silver Siren.”

So tomorrow, when there is yet more salt to my pepper…I hope I can continue to embrace this process, find humor in its more awkward moments, be at peace with no longer being told that I look like I could be my daughter’s sister—but instead, look in the mirror and see a strong, beautiful (I am practicing saying that word to myself), vibrant, and yes, “older” version of myself-complete with shimmering silver highlights—and some laugh lines and crows feet to match.

– Deborah Greene